Residential Treatment

Kim Wiederin and her husband Shawn understand the strain of having a child in residential treatment. Their daughter Morgan, 11, has been living at LSI's Beloit Residential Treatment Center since March.

Beloit took an important step to lighten that load this July with its first ever family support weekend.

The Wiederins were among 11 parents and guardians who traveled from across the state for a two-day retreat on LSI's Ames campus.

"Talking with other parents and knowing that we are not alone was great," Kim said. "You find out they have the same stresses, some of the same issues at home."

Parents of children in residential treatment can often feel alone, said Amy Lavallee, an LSI therapist.

"Families can feel like no one else gets this," she said. "There is often a public stigma that makes them feel like bad parents. There's financial pressure. Some medications their children use cost several hundred dollars a month. It can be a stress on marriages, or siblings."

During the weekend parents learned more about trauma, treatment, stress relief and their own capacity for resiliency. It was also a time for reflection – a community member donated a meditation labyrinth for the weekend, which was set up in the Beloit gym.

"Families walked away with a greater understanding of the dynamics of their children," Amy said. "They saw how family members can heal each other."

The weekend had been a dream of Beloit staff for a long time. Amy and LSI therapist Mandi Hillman took the lead on the event, which involved months of planning.

From Friday to Sunday, parents attended trainings, wrote in journals, made life boards and had family fun nights with their children. They made breakfast for the kids on Saturday morning and tucked them in each a night. It was an emotional two days.

"I had one grandmother turn to me and say, 'I just want to see my grandson smile again," Mandi said.

Beloit has held other family engagement activities, but this retreat was more intensive. Typical residential care involves occasional family visits. Beloit's family weekend went above and beyond that standard.

"This weekend gave families real tools they can use at home for parenting and stress relief," said Belinda Meis, director of Beloit Residential Services. "We were able to link parents together, giving them a support network. We're excited about its success and building on this in the future. Our ultimate hope is that this support results in shorter lengths of stay for kids."

For Kim, the weekend gave her a new perspective on her daughter.

"I never realized before that while Morgan is 11, she doesn't have 11-year-old behaviors," she said. "She has four-year-old behaviors. We had expectations that were more than she was capable of, and now we have some new ways to help her at home."

The parents may have arrived as strangers, but many left as friends as the entire group asked to exchange contact information. Kim said she has formed a close bond with another mother she met.

"It was a great experience," she said. "We're all in the same boat, working toward the same things with the best intentions for the kids. If asked, I would go again in a heartbeat."